People with disabilities often feel they have to do twice as much to prove themselves to a society who often views us as “crippled, useless, unable, incompetent and throwaway segments of society…Here is my personal account with job discrimination.
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my passport photo, 1983
Adoption Story: Mom Looking For Daughter For 44 Years
Here’s a little history of how Korean adoptions came to be and a little of my own adoptee experience. I hope you will take a read. To those who have traveled non traditional paths to motherhood and the motherless who gained mothers in unique ways, this one’s for you.
“It’s not uncommon for adoptees to wonder if their biological mother ever thinks of them...I know I have often. We, the lost children, were Korea’s most profitable export. We were the societal fallout post WWII era...My only connection to my past is my genes. My face, my eyes and this genetic muscle-wasting disease I’ve had for twenty years belongs to my biological family. One day I hope to see the eyes who gave me my eyes...and, who knows, maybe she is looking for me, too…” Read more…
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Golden Hour
thanks for the beautiful rays tonight, california. i love you.
Read MoreStudy of Dark to Light
knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. -carl jung
Read MoreLate Night Thoughts
I’ve been struggling with intense insomnia for last couple years or so but more severely, and every single night, since January. It’s frustrating but especially for a doer like me because my disability already infringed on my productivity and all the personal projects and dreams I want to do and accomplish, but complete lack of sleep further exacerbates this quest…
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Love Your Home
“Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be..."
-William Woodsworth
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Josua Tree, 2011
Lost and Found
I began using leg braces in 2001. I hated it. I did everything to hide them and only wore pants...back in the day my options of leg braces were big clunky pieces of milky white plastic. I didn’t feel feminine. I didn't feel attractive and I wouldn’t dare let anyone see my braces, making sure to only remove them in private…
Read MoreHe Isn't My 'Carer' - He's My Husband | BORN DIFFERENT
“The disabled are often desexualized, ignored and babied, and if one happens to have a partner, then that person is deemed some kind of saint for even considering taking on the wounded—as if disabled individuals are incapable of inspiring romantic love or eroticism.”
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The Deserted and isolated
“To the complaint, ‘There are no people in these photographs,’ I respond, There are always two people: the photographer and the viewer.” — Ansel Adams
The forgotten. Couple weekends ago we dropped off some food door-side for friends near downtown LA. Afterwards we took a quick drive through downtown and I snapped this picture from the car. I always find pictures of our face or body receive the most and immediate engagement, which kind of irritates me a bit sometimes. I used to almost exclusively post scenery and candid pictures of strangers but people mostly want the “pretty” selfies. But I find these kinds of quiet moments are so much more real.
Before this self-isolation, on a micro level, there was always the isolated and deserted around every corner existing in their own silent crises. Crisis was always here faintly lurking; people were dying alone from diseases because they couldn’t afford healthcare. People didn’t have homes and became homeless because of gentrification, with greedy real estate buying up areas during financial crashes (corporations and bankers admittedly LOVE financial crashes because it creates the most opportunities for the corporate sector), raising the rent to ungodly levels to purposely force the poor out and onto the streets. To these people, this current virus crisis is nothing new.
If only we listened to the oppressed, the fringe voices who aren’t represented and those who live outside the mainstream paradigm. The least “popular”, from the homeless to people with disabilities, they have experiences and wisdom about humanity. But we don’t listen until it affects us.
My art gallery
Follow my wheelchair travels, art and mini-memoirs at Instagram.com/kamredlawsk and Facebook.
It’s Raining…
insomnia.
reconciled by the
calm orchestra of rain falling.
every moment
will one day be a memory.
#insomniathoughts
Art Vs Writing
“An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.” - Bukowski
Approaching the differences between art and writing and how they are different tools to express my story.
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2020.
Deserted
“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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Holding It Together
Rebekah Taussig: “I haven’t felt like I have much to say these days. Haven’t had wisdom or insight or clarity or anything useful to offer. Before the planet erupted into chaos, our own tiny world – navigating cancer treatment and a high risk pregnancy – felt like a lot. We were being held together by one long, thin string. And then the whole planet erupted, and the string snapped, and suddenly we’re out here floating in outer space, not sure which way is up or east, not sure how to hold onto each other, let alone the ground.”
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Love, Antosha + Recipient of Anton Yelchin Foundation Artist Grant ❣️
Thank you to the Anton Foundation for their 2020 Artist Grant!! I wanted to share my own little journey in discovering who Anton was and I thought his story was important enough for a blog post. Come in and look around…
Read MoreCoronaVirus Force
With the Coronavirus self-isolation I think people are experiencing things in chaotic slow motion.
Forced to adapt. Forced to stop. And think. Forced to realize the world doesn’t revolve around them…
Read MoreCan You Die from Your Disease?
“Is your disease fatal?” was a question I thought I knew the answer to. Today, I’m not quite sure…
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Goodbye, 2019
Living out my curiosities offers me a road towards potential and freedom. When I travel or do art, I just want to be Kam. I don’t want to be Kam in a chair or disabled Kam. I’ve only ever wanted to be just myself — never strung to labels too deeply, for labels masquerade and dilute the nuance which is individuals.
But if for these few moments I can delight in what I want to do, and what fuels my passion, then I’m glad to share that freedom with you. Freedom from all of it. Freedom from all the bullshit, worries and expectations. If for these few moments I can be the real me without this disease, then I’ll take it and savor it inside for the rest of my life, for it's these fleeting moments that carry me through.
Without them, I’d be nothing. I'd be done..
Read MoreThe 10 Year Challenge
2009 vs 2019 / A lot can change in 10 years. Sometimes I miss her so much. Ohhh, what I could do then...but then again, ohhh what I can do now. I’ve seen and done so much. I’ve tried things I never imagined. I’ve done some crazy shit. I’ve lived as my body dies. I regret nothing.
Read MoreMy First Podcast: Handiscover World - Accessible Travel
My first podcast with @handiscoverworld and its host British Paralympic judoka, Jonathan Drane. Handiscover World is an accessible travel podcast that discusses what travel is like for people with a wide range of disabilities as well as our stories and background.
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Random travel pics, not Peru.
Mach-U Ado About nothing
Last year I found out Machu Picchu is finally wheelchair accessible. The opportunity opened a couple months ago, so we took it. We cashed in our flight miles for Peru tickets and here we are. Climbing Machu is something I’ve always wanted to do since I first heard about it at 17.
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