One of the most difficult things about being disabled, especially when it's progressive, is being forced to rely on others. I hate that part so much. I'm waiting for my helper who is 3 hours late. I need to run errands for my first art show and it takes alot of back and forth to pick up materials.
With every daily minute step there is an immense amount of planning involved. But all I really want to do is just pick up and go and not be tied to anyone.
There's alot of waiting and asking.
I don't mind if people want to help me but it's hard waiting on others or hoping that they will be reliable. Or if it's a particularly busy week where I need o do multiple things, I can't. I'm forced to wait for my husband or employ help. I'm constantly waiting and it's those moments that remind me that I'm disabled. I'm progressing. And increasingly at the mercy of others.