You know that famous commercial featuring elderly crying, "I've fallen, and I can't get up"?
I never thought I would be reenacting this commercial several times over at 30 years old.
I'm currently seeing things from an ant's point of view. I JUST FELL.
I used to be able to get up by myself, but for the past couple years it is nearly impossible for me to do this. I now need assistance.
I am now blogging from my iphone on the floor. Thanks, technology.
No one is around to help. I fell in the kitchen and I'm strategizing if I can get up without straining myself. I think I can drag myself to the kitchen chair and try and lean on the chair and pull myself up.
It's 3:30pm I have alot of stuff to do and I don't feel like waiting until 8pm when Jason, my husband, gets home. I'm leaving for LA tomorrow and I have much to do.
So, I scooched my butt over (good thing I have lots of padding) and I'm now near the kitchen chair. My dog, Pippi, is cheering me on. She looks worried and confused.
Ok...so deep breaths and let's see if I can get myself up..
UPDATE: So, an hour later I think it is time to admit defeat.
I'm not in the editing mood, so this will be all babble.
If I go any longer I will strain my legs and not be able to walk afterwards. I got to the kitchen chair and thought I could throw my belly on the chair and push myself up. I'm not sure why I thought I could do this, because I haven't been able to for awhile. I tried to get on my knees for leverage and lay on the chair, but couldn't...hmmm, what else can I do?
I decided to scooch to the bathroom as there is a lower chair in there. It is one of those bathtub adjustable seats. I drag myself from the kitchen to the bathroom and I notice, man these floors are dirty.
I guess my butt is cleaning the floor?
I get into the bathroom and try to get up on the plastic shower seat that is sitting near the bathtub. This time I bend myself over the bathtub side and hold onto the seat and try to pull myself onto my knees and lay so my belly is on the side of the tub. This is hard because my arms are getting weaker, too. I rest my head on the corner so I have extra leverage...but it is not working.
Ughhh, it took me 20 minutes just to get on my knees.
That's ok...I'll keep trying. I can do this.
By this time, I start to cry and Pippi has gave up on me and went and hid under the bed.
I think she was worried and didn't know what to do for me. I say to myself, "I just want to get up...that's it...and go to the bathroom!"
I have to pee real bad. I sit back on my butt and I think if I take off one leg brace it will help, because I'm having trouble bending my legs.
It doesn't work, because my leg/foot is now to weak to push my body...plus the floor is slippery tile. I keep trying...I try to push my body onto the shower chair so my belly is on it, but I can't do anything from there and laying on my stomach just makes me want to pee more ;).
I lay belly down on the shower chair, hanging over the tub, but I'm not able to achieve much more than this.
I'm feeling a little upset and just cry...I hate these moments...I could do this a couple years ago, so why can't I now...? I can't even crawl or kneel. My legs just don't work like that anymore.
I feel alone and even my fighting spirit is not enough to get me up off the floor. I lay on my stomach for a few more minutes staring at the tile grout. I sat there for a little while.
I scooch myself to the bedroom and now I am just waiting.
I still have to pee...damn that coffee. I know I'm inserting some humor here and there...but it really is not that funny and it's hard.
I guess I wanted to try and describe what it is like to do the little things.