MORE ART
Some older pieces / Click on illustration to reveal its story
What We Knew When We Were Small
Toy Stories: We all remember playing with our favorite toys and creating stories from them.
Sometimes we were the hero, sometimes the villain.
"In a castle high on top of a hill lives an inventor's greatest creation - Edward, a near-complete person."
On Display
2013: I originally did this one for my last art show but decided it wasn't good enough to
include. I used some of the little Kam characters that I have drawn in previous drawings
and collaged them within a stack of glaring TV sets that sit front of a Kam character who is
watching herself.
I am not only physically tied to HIBM on a full time basis while learning to cope with the
constant progression, but the pressure of being public, fundraising, sharing, advocacy and
constantly talking about HIBM in order to raise awareness looms over me.
I feel responsibility and accountability on my shoulders even though I would rather
escape it and not give it (HIBM) the attention it so desires. I deeply wished that
people did not know me for my HIBM.
It is an inner tension and personal struggle between what I want and what is deeply a part
of me. Seeing myself as the center of fundraiser, an event and the center of attention for
something I so deeply hate or the subject of a drawing is often times unbearable and
surprising. I try to distinguish the Kam I know - a normal girl who always
intended to live life to the fullest - and the Kam that has HIBM.
They are very different characters, yet the same.
She's Got Legs, She Doesn't Know How to Use Them
A commentary on how society projects how women should look and be.
There are many ways to be a woman and most of them don't involve how one looks.
Raining in My Yukgaejang
A good bowl of soup always drowns out the frownies. Soup is especially heroic on those rainy days, even the days it feels rainy inside my body.
We rolled into the restaurant and on this particular rainy day I noticed alot of people staring at me. Usually it doesn't bother me, but I seemed to notice it more so today.
I wasn't in the best of spirits anyways.
After eating, we wheeled to the car through the pouring rain. And again, so many more stares. Jason threw me into the car while the rain poured so hard that I couldn't
even see out of the windows. Or perhaps it was my eyes. They were pouring, too. Most people never see this side of the condition. They only see the happy. They only
see "healthy" and happy pictures and composed poses on Facebook. It is not a false representation, but there are some really, really dark and difficult moments. As I
stared out the window the city was a blur while the raindrops on the windshield came into crystal clear focus. I played connect the dots with them as they dripped down.
I imagined out these raindrop's temporary existence as well as their travels. We sat in the car for awhile. I cried and cried. Afterwards, we drove home. And then I was ok.
Highwire
A Thin Line. This is my current stage. Sometimes I feel like I am walking a very thin line between walking and not walking.
I am being pulled in by the waves of the inevitable, and my next (major) milestone is drawing nearer.
Sometimes it makes me sad but I have to maintain balance, not only with my physical shell but on the inside.
Monster on My Ankles
You know those little floor or door ledges? Well, this drawing was inspired by that. My home has little moulding ledges in each doorway.
Really, any SLIGHT rise or lift is problematic for me. I must stop, take thought and carefully guide my legs and feet over that 1/4" lift.
My entire being has to be dedicated to this moment.
Sometimes, I can achieve this in one try and sometimes it takes several. This calculation would be while wearing braces. However, if I am not wearing any braces or shoes it is much more difficult to impossible.
One day I was stuck in the doorway having a problem with lifting my foot over this silly rise. If you step back and watch me it is almost comical. I mean, how can something so little give me such problem? As I stood in the doorway trying to will my legs, I imagined that perhaps a creature or monster of some sort was preventing me from victory.
"Darn monster grabs my ankle and just won't let go...every time!" I thought. Perhaps it is angry with me. Perhaps it wants to be near me and has a crush on me. Perhaps it has something to tell me I'm not sure. Whatever it is, it makes everything so much more difficult then it needs to be.
"It is something that grows over time...A feeling in the heart that becomes stronger even stronger over time.
The passion will soon blossom into a righteous power and through it, you will know which way to go"
--Zelda, N64 videogame
