While I advocate for disability, rare disease is another entire (very important) section that I could write a book on. It’s unique. We’re rare and often unseen and unheard — and it’s heartbreaking. A world of greed and profit centered capitalism says rare does not count as important as mainstream diseases and offers little profit in a multi-billion dollar sect of high profits in drugs + therapy. Except, combined, there's over 7,000 rare diseases worldwide — most of them genetic and difficult to diagnose. This affects up to 400 million worldwide.

It’s natural for me to put myself last. I’ve been this way since I was a child. This IS the real me. Because of my life experiences I can feel what others feel and innately look for the lonely, injustice and exploited. But there is also this other side that tells me it’s been a self worth issue; a thing I hear many adoptees experience…(Adoption Awareness Month)

I keep a private digital journal and one of my recent entries was about not wanting to see others out of fear I’d have nothing to offer but tears…

Thoughts of being a burden on your partner, a burden on society or loved ones, often streams through disabled minds including mine. Being different often makes one feel unworthy but this is amplified when it’s perpetuated by society...and they’ve been good at telling us how damaged and burdensome we are.

It’s been a difficult couple months, rather year, like it has for so many. I’ve had many deeply sad times. In the past few months everything that could happen has behind the veil of social media.

It is with deep sorrow I share that my father, Rodney Howard Redlawsk, passed away Sunday, January 31, 2021. He was a proud father of four children and grandfather of four grandchildren. We are postponing services for now but will notify you of our celebration plans in the near future (thinking this summer, outside event).

PSA: Disabled people like sex, we talk about sex and yesss we can have sexxx! When you find out you’re going to be disabled one of the first things you may think about is sex and dating. “How is this going to work?” is not a question specific to curious prying eyes from strangers yet also an internalized one that burns deep within you…

I’ve been pretty weak lately and it's discouraging. Maybe it’s heightened from the stress of all this division and misunderstanding and how this division permeates personal life and relationships but either way, it’s there — achingly reminding me with every little movement…

“... this lack of representation I literally thought I was white. In fact, I was stunned at a tender age of 11 when I finally realized I was Asian while looking back at myself in the mirror. And it was a weird mix of emotions... Lack of representation feeds everything...”

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but often times a photo omits the reality. After all, it’s a millisecond snapshot in a day of 86,400 seconds…

Connect with the living 🌱 A little chasing of isolation today with not a person in sight. 

Our holiday weekend consisted mostly of work but we managed to sneak in some nature. We took a stroll in an isolated neighborhood admiring everyone’s carefully pruned lawns and beautiful quiet nature. After no makeup all year and months of wearing pajamas crusted with food and oily hair, I thought maybe I should try and look human for my audience of one.

People with disabilities often feel they have to do twice as much to prove themselves to a society who often views us as “crippled, useless, unable, incompetent and throwaway segments of society…Here is my personal account with job discrimination.

Here’s a little history of how Korean adoptions came to be and a little of my own adoptee experience. I hope you will take a read. To those who have traveled non traditional paths to motherhood and the motherless who gained mothers in unique ways, this one’s for you.

“It’s not uncommon for adoptees to wonder if their biological mother ever thinks of them...I know I have often. We, the lost children, were Korea’s most profitable export. We were the societal fallout post WWII era...My only connection to my past is my genes. My face, my eyes and this genetic muscle-wasting disease I’ve had for twenty years belongs to my biological family. One day I hope to see the eyes who gave me my eyes...and, who knows, maybe she is looking for me, too…” Read more…