For now, since I am working freelance from home, I try to get myself out of the house for a couple hours every day. I walk my '136 Kam' steps to my car and then take a little drive. This helps me continue walking confidence and these days I am trying to hold on as much as I can for as long as I can.

I have to be honest, every day when I go for my little walk to the car, I have to take deep breaths and psyche myself out. I walk the path (my walking path on video-click here to watch) along the house and then I get to the gate, stop, take a deep breath and then walk the rest of the path. There is no rail or wall for me to hang onto so I have to walk this part without assistance. Same for when I arrive home. I get out of my car and sometimes stand near my car for a few minutes staring at the path to the gate (54 steps) just dreading it. I tend to internal monologue while I walk. I cheer myself on, um...anything to get myself through.  Every step is always an adventure.

Last week I went on my usual daily walk but this time I fell on the sidewalk near my car. I think I twisted my foot slightly, but other than that nothing major was hurt except for skinned arms (Kam fact, I loved bruises, scars, skinned knees as a kid. Still do).

As of 2 years ago I absolutely can't get up off the ground by myself. Someone has to lift my lifeless body and if there is no one with me -- well, I have to depend on the kindness of strangers.

So, there I was. I was on the ground with my body hanging over the sloped angle of the driveway with my head laying flat on the ground. "Ughh, I hate this".

I lifted my head up and peaked around the neighborhood. Some landscape guys across the street looked at me in confusion and were teetering on their feet as if deciding to come or not. 

Good thing I know Spanish and so I shouted, "Could you come help me?", in English.  

One of the men darted to me. I tried to explain how to lift and we spent a few minutes dancing around the situation, but he couldn't speak english well. So I broke out my mime skills (it's ok. miming in defense, and not as a weapon, is within mime code. Kind of like Karate).  

Normally the best way to lift me is from behind under the arm pits, and whomever is lifting needs to with all their might expecting no assistance from me. 

He lifted, I fell. He lifted, I fell until we finally did it (Hooray! Just like Dora). 

The way he lifted was funny, though. He in no way tried to avoid...well, the boobs. He definitely had a FIRM and good grip. Most people that lift do their best to avoid the chest. It wasn't too creepy or assault like, he just didn't avoid it as well. Well, good for him, I say. After he got me up, I dusted myself off, got into my car and texted Jason.

Kam: Just fell. Some landscape guy helped me up. Pretty much didn't avoid my boobs.

Jason: Sorry u fell. Was it inappropriate?

Kam: Who cares!! I'm up! ;)

As I have progressed I rely more and more on help and this means strangers to. With every person I meet, whether it is in passing or someone that ends up staying in my life, I have to be the teacher. I need to show them how best to do certain things, such as lifting me. I try to be comfortable about it so that they are comfortable, because I imagine it is awkward for them. It is not that they don't want to help, they just don't know how to. I also have to heavily rely on strangers. Some are not so great, as they ignore me and walk on by, but most I've found are eager about helping someone in need.  

You also have to lose alot of your pride and modesty and go with the flow. With each new person that I come across, whether I want to or not, it is like I am quickly introducing myself and inviting them into a very private part of my life. Because of these very 'intimate', vulnerable moments it is like I am developing a relationship with each person that has helped me, and funny or meaningful moments occur uniquely with each of them --- whether it is a friend or a 'grabby' stranger, I remember all of them...

Now that it is routine to accept help, I am not bashful about asking for it. So, yea, the landscaper felt me up a little, but at least I am up ;).

When I got home the guy who had helped me was gone, but his landscaping partner, who had also seen me fell, was still working. I parked and was then anxiously greeted by his colleague who asked to help me back to the gate. I didn't fall this time, so ubfortunately for him he didn't get to accidenty graze my boobs;), but let's just say he is not the first to "accidentally" grab my chest. It happens, it is unavoidable.

I did a quick - more in depth comic this time (pic above).  I want to show myself in situations where I have great difficulty, but then my super-human self gets right back up with grace and style She has all the physical capabilities and flashes a smile. Then the comic cuts back to the reality; the reality of clumsily trying to figure out how to get myself out of situations that require SIMPLE human strength. 

The reality is, it is not that funny when I am experiencing it and at times I feel helpless and it is extremely lonely and testing.

I have to say it has been fun teaching myself how to draw characters as well as storytelling through series of images.  Because I don't have much time to labor over a drawing generally, I like to keep them simple with little rendering. When I work I like to get an idea out quickly and then move on to the next idea, which is way I don't actually care for the rendering process as much.

When I am designing a product, for example, I like the sketchy development stage the best. This is where I 'throw up' all my ideas onto a piece of paper, and so envisioning the main idea is my favorite part of the process.

So, for these little comics, I'd rather do many simple sketches rather than a few that take forever to render. I am still searching for my illustration style which will be an ever-growing one. For this one, though, I added a little color and more panels. It actually didn't take that long and I kept it loose. I also included my "scribble" page.

I scribble a basic idea on paper then bring it into digital and complete there.